Thursday, January 24, 2008

More Bloggable Dan

To understand the depth of my oppression, you should know that for the first 25 years of my life I read myself to sleep almost every night. It was just what I did. I grew up doing it, and I did it in college, in grad school, etc. You might say it was habitual. Almost necessary. Then I married Dan and between this, that, and the other, I can't do it anymore.

There are several reasons but perhaps the most significant reason is that there is no light by my side of the bed. Wait. There is a light. But it is a pretend light that is plugged into nothing. I believe that years ago it used to be plugged into something like, you know, an outlet with electricity running through it. In fact, I remember turning it on in order to change a diaper in the middle of the night when Sadie was still co-sleeping. However, once that necessity was removed, the light somehow magically got unplugged and all the outlet spaces in the area got magically used up with other things. Plus, the only outlet on that wall is behind the 40 ton bed and only Dan can bed-wrangle effectively enough to plug something into it.

Dan is disturbed by night-time reading. It keeps him awake. He doesn't like me doing it. This has been a minor point of contention between us for years.

So last night I was feeling restless and irritable and I'm in the middle of a book I'm interested in, and I whined, "See, I really wish I could read myself to sleep right now. Just six pages of Tom Wolfe and I know I would be able to sleep peacefully!"

And Dan responded, "Awww, honey, don't give up. If you keep working on your phonics with the kids, I'm sure you'll be able to read someday!"

And I said, "I'm telling the internet you said that mean hateful thing."

And he said, "Oh good. That'll play well on CNN."

So my question: Given his unabashed lack of sensitivity to my wishes on this point, do I need to

1. Climb under the bed and plug in my lamp. (I may never get back out.)
2. Get over it. Life with Dan has other compensations. (He is very good at video games.)
3. Read in the bathroom, crying softly, until he relents. (Could take forever.)

Everyone on TV has separate bed lamps! Therefore, it must be true!


  1. I don't get my own light, either. I have to sit up in the living room at night to read.

    Also, there's a little award for you over at my site.

    Hope you're feeling better.

  2. It's a new picture on my header. That's the aircraft my husband works on.

    You need a headlight. I have a little booklight that doesn't work so well, but the headlight affords me many hours of reading. Not so attractive, and when I look at hubby I blind him, but then I tell him to quit his whining and get me a real lamp.

  3. I don't even have a bedside table to put a lamp on...

    Sisters unite!

    But when i can't stand it anymore, I take my book into the guest room and get comfy there. Jack never lets me actually go to sleep, because as soon as he figures out where I'm hiding, he in bed beside me with his book, but it's a little piece of drama that makes me feel better. ;)

  4. I like the crawling under the bed part. That would be amusing for the kids, great blog fodder, and it reminds me of hiding under blankets reading as a child.

    So many warm fuzzy memories of hiding late night reading...

  5. I have a bedside light, but I'm not allowed to use it, at least not after dark. I have a teeny little booklight, and apparently it too is a source of aggravation for my sleep-needy bedmate. I've settled on an MP3 player. I set the volume to 1, and stuff the little earbuds in my ears, and enjoy literary edification in total darkness. I find the soporific effect at least equal to reading and I don't think my hubby is even aware of my new nocturnal habit most nights.

  6. Same exact problem here...a flashlight under the covers works for me. It worked when I was a kid and my folks thought I ought to sleep occasionally too...I have one of those tiny little halogen lights which takes rechargeable batteries. lol

  7. Eliz has a halogen headlamp that her BF gave her and she loves it. I have a lamp because DH sleeps much more soundly with a light on than he does when I'm bitching but I do cover it with several, flame-retardant scarves to lower the light.
    I think I would give him one of those eye-cover things and a few options:
    I read and you wear these.
    I don't read but I bitch loudly and you still can't sleep.
    Buy me a headlight and I'll try that.
    Bottom line: Why does your DH get to decide whether or not you read in bed? It's your bed,too!

  8. We have the opposite problem... I need dark to sleep and he likes to read. Try one of those itty bitty book lights... I was able to sleep when he used one of those!