Kerry's Endorsement: Kiss of Death

John Kerry, that undead mastadon, most famous for losing a no-brainer election against the actual devil as he stood there in horns and red cape, promising to engulf the world in flames , endorsed Barack Obama this week. I knew it would be the kiss of death for his campaign. I did not know, however, that they were going to literally try and make out.

I have to report something, but first I have to confess something. So, the confession: Instead of allowing the children's minds to be enriched by listening to their Suzuki CDs, I've been listening to conservative talk radio lately. Call it election fever. I hope it goes away, but it's not like Barack Obama hope, it's like maybe-this-Ding-Dong-is-a-magic-one-with-no-calories hope. Now the report: Sean Hannity said something today that was so powerfully ironic, my ears almost bled:

Hannity was bemoaning the fact that the that irritating media (OF WHICH HE IS PART, RIGHT?!) has decided that the fight for the Republican nomination is between McCain and Huckabee, discounting Giuliani and Thompson's hopes for a comeback.

Hannity: I gotta tell ya. I am so tired of all the pundits and the talking heads telling us who to vote for! That is for us to decide!!

My Husband is Awesome

New Hampshire results are in, and Hillary is victorious. All over the blogosphere, pro-Hillary blogs are using up their yearly allotment of exclamation points and squees: "Go girl!!!!!! SQUEEE!!!!!"

Here's Dan wearing his penalty shirt:

I said, "Now, I need a nice cheerful over-the-shoulder thumbs-up."

A Friendly Wager on the New Hampshire Primary

Dan asked if I wanted to place a bet on tonight's primary in New Hampshire. That is to say, he was ready to bet against Hillary -- was I ready to bet for her? So here is the bet:

Dan has a t-shirt that he has never worn. In 2006, Dan participated in the Tour of Hope ride, Lance Armstrong's cycling fundraiser for cancer research. Well, he tried to participate -- the event got cancelled due to hideous rain, but he did get the jersey, the shorts, and more importantly the t-shirt. The jersey and shorts are a nice victorious yellow, and he wears them a lot, but the t-shirt he has never worn. Mostly because it is a bright, hot, optimistic blue. It is also adorned with a giant yellow sunflower. Despite his firm support of Lance Armstrong and everything he represents, Dan would never want to wear that t-shirt. Neither would I, if it comes to that. I don't wear shirts with things on them.

So the wager is this: If Obama wins, I have to wear the shirt. If Hillary wins, Dan has to wear it.

This isn't a picture of the actual shirt, in fact this is one from 2005 and the West Coast version and it has been made into a quilt but this is the general idea:

Tune in tomorrow to see who had to spend the day in this lovely garment.

I Support Hillary Clinton

I support Hillary Clinton for President. I think she would be great at the job. I have quietly supported Hillary since I knew she was running, but didn't say much about it because I suspected that the only reason I wanted to cast a vote for her was because she was female. Now I think I know why I want her to win.

Hillary Clinton wants to be president not because she's a woman, or because she's entitled, or because she's power-hungry, but because she knows she can do it better than anyone else. You can see it in her face, in her frustration over the last week. She can't seem to understand why people don't believe her, don't trust her, don't want her. I understand though.

Barack Obama is slick and smooth, and Hillary is abrasive and tough. He is talking about hope and change and light and liberty. She is talking about experience, competence, knowledge, and work. Of course, he gets a lot of applause. People want to yell for hope and change, even if there is no substance behind the words, no specifics to support the glossy rhetoric.

No one is jumping out of their seat for competence. No one is waving a flag for hard work. But I want her in that office because she will be competent and work hard. That is what I need her to do. I do not need her to orate or inspire me. I need her to fix the country, and I think she will.

If she would have, from the beginning, talked like I've seen her talk this week, with tears in her eyes, about how she will be a good president, instead of saying "change" 53 times a minute and relying on Bill Clinton to shape her message, I think she'd be ahead right now. She is very compelling, when she breaks down and just speaks from the heart. I got this feeling, this week, that she feels responsible for the country, and that we should let her do what she needs to do.

Hillary Clinton may not win. She may be a rung on which future women step, to get to the top of that political ladder. Maybe it will be her daughter Chelsea someday, who makes it to the top. Maybe it will be my daughter. I am thankful, as a female and as an American, to this person who is enduring merciless criticism, hateful personal attacks, and all the jibes and jokes of a cruelly dismissive opposition. I don't think she'll look back on this time in her life as a fun romp through the USA, spreading smiles and listening to applause, like Obama probably will. She may look back on it as a screaming nightmare from start to finish. But I support her. I will vote for her in my stupid, irrelevant Virginia primary, whether she's still in the race or not. And I thank her for standing up under all of this, and smiling through her tears.

Lucy's Cookies: No Wheat, No Dairy, No Problem

Dr. Lucy Gibney is a friend of mine. I met her at church. Sadie and her son are in the same Sunday school class, and for months now she's been bringing in special cookies for their snack, to accommodate his food allergies. Now, I don't know about you, but when I hear "Wheat free cookies! Dairy free cookies!" I am not breaking my ankles to run over and get a sample. However, these cookies are really very great. I could never tell the difference between these and any other delicious homemade cookies. Go check out these gluten free cookies if you're in the mood for a snack and your allergies prevent you from patronizing the Keebler elves.

Lucy's Foods: Gluten Free and Dairy Free Cookies

These are available now in Norfolk at the Organic Food Depot and other stores, and will soon be in all Farm Fresh locations. Go Lucy!

Raising Quality Nerds Since 1998

Sadie: Clifford Learning Activities
Benny: Zoo Tycoon

Please note that the diet Coke next to Sadie is not hers. At least, I don't think it started off as hers.

Santa is Still Totally Real

We took Benny's bowling ball in to Dick's Sporting Goods to get holes drilled in it. It's a good thing that Santa shops at Dick's Sporting Goods, because they only drill holes in balls that were purchased there. It's a good thing!

Here's Benny's letter to Santa this year. Some of this will be easier to understand if you know that Benny found a quarter and a nickel on the floor a few minutes before he wrote the letter. That's called fortuitous!



Translation:

Dear Santa,
Thank you for all these gifts. I'm going to pay you "30c" for this joy! Please help yourself to the cokies on the "Christmas platle. Mery Christmas! Sighned: Benny & Sadie. Wisconsin Marshfield N. Peach St.

Hehehe.

Iowa Caucus is Live on CSPAN and I am Liveblogging Here

If you aren't watching the CSPAN coverage of the Iowa caucus, you are really missing some entertainment. Shouting, voting by a show of hands, voting by hollering, fiddling with microphones, whispering, milling about, shouting, "HILLARY OVER HERE!", grumbling "We're moving!" and more hilarity. TURN IT ON! I will be adding to this post as the evening goes on. There's a channel for democrats and a channel for republicans.

8:19 A Richardson lady in a purple sweater is trying to woo away one of the Dodd people. She says, "I should have brought treats!"

8:21 Now the purple sweater is saying, "Your issue is capital punishment? Mine too. Mine too."

8:23 An Obama supporter is telling a redhead that Obama has as much experience as Abraham Lincoln had when he was elected. What he has is intelligence and the ability to build consensus. He doesn't pander. He always takes questions. The redhead is nodding and saying, "Okay." Reportedly, there is a great group of people in the Obama corner.

8:25 The Biden preference group is looking owly. He is not going to be viable. Someone supports a resolution that everyone gets to stay with their first choice. He wants to do away with the viability. He looks kind of like Steve Martin. I'm going to check with the republicans now.

8:28 The republicans in Carroll Iowa are milling around in the hallway.

8:29 A democrat is standing on a chair repeating the number 45. Cameras are pointing every which way. The new precinct chairperson reads a partial statement on affirmative action. Someone says, "45." Bill Richardson runs to the bathroom. The Biden people are holding their coats and growling at each other. They're down from 26 to 10.

8:31 A reasonable man with glasses explains about the benefits of resorting yourself to your second choice before or after the first vote. The Richardson folks are talking fast to everyone who's not in a viable group -- apparently they are close to viability and just need to hornswaggle a few more votes. (Hornswaggle is Iowan for persuade).

I wonder if some of these people knew they were going to be on CSPAN. Like, did they choose their clothes for it? Or?

That purple lady is still working hard for Bill R. Her argument now is that America doesn't elect Senators, so Edwards and Obama and Clinton are out. She kind of looks like Bill Richardson.

I am shallow.

8:36 Dodd, Kucinich, Biden, and Richardson people are told to realign. They need 57 per group to be a viable group. They are given 15 more minutes.

Benny and Sadie are in the tub. They have astronauts and Barbies and little action figures from The Nightmare Before Christmas. They're having a wonderful time.

8:38 The Richardson people now have 47! VIVA LA REVOLUTION! They are neglecting to count the evangelists that are out among the room, bringing in more victims.

8:39 Steve Martin asks us to consider the face we will present to the world, after our debacle in Iraq. To him, it is Barack. A blonde lady says, "But Edwards hasn't taken any public funding!" Steve Martin asks what Edwards' position is on public health. The campaign has never got back to him on that. Someone reasonable suggests that what's left of the Dodds and what's left of the Bidens go over and join the Richardsons. That makes sense. Do it, reasonable man. We are counting on you.

Benny just launched a rocket into the Barbie pool and caused all kinds of anguish. I am liveblogging from my bedroom.

8:45 Someone get audio on that guy in the bow tie!!! I need to know what he's saying!!!

Voting by a show of hands, counting people by raised hands, counting people by standing on a chair, voting by saying "aye!" -- all of these are very inexact sciences. But awesome. I mean, this is crazy. Now they are going to try sending everyone into the hall and count the on the way back in.

8:45 Edwards has over 100. He needs 56 to be viable in this precinct.

8:49 Applause. Richardson must have squatted, strained, and birthed a few voters in the corner.

But what are the republicans doing??? Someone in a sweater vest is saying that the surge worked. He sounds nervous and angry. It is better in the democrat room at the moment, but I am looking forward to Ron Paul-related antics. Oh, how I wish I lived in Iowa! Just for tonight.

8:51 All of the preference groups are trying to count themselves. None of them can figure out a really good way. A boom mike is hovering eagerly over the Obama group. There are a lot of wild Iowans supporting Obama tonight. So far, I am not kidding, NO ONE has showed the Hillary camp. I don't even know if she's viable in this precinct.

8:57 At a folding table, democrats are doing math.

186 Obama

116 Edwards

74 Clinton

That's it.

8:58 In the Republican room, there's a Mitt Romney sign hanging over a sign that says, "No smoking. No food. No drink." A white-haired man is walking around waving a yellow envelope. Wait, there's another one. There's a lot of joviality. Are they done? Someone has given the white-haired man another envelope to wave. Everyone is being sent back out into the hallway, or they are being drawn there by their instinct. Are they leaving? Did Ron Paul win? They're outside. They're walking through the snow. A lady in dangly earrings is pillaging a Fred08 sign. The caucus is over. The envelopes have left the building.

9:02 There are official vote-counter pens! I totally like want one! I have Iowenvy bad. Okay, so, it was just the voters who left, and now the envelopes have been delivered into a special room where they will now be counted according to a special republican system. Woo! Wee! Little pieces of white paper are flying around like swarms of moths! Iowans are hunching over them, making tongue-munching sounds.

9:04 It looks like the republicans voted by writing down the name of their candidates on little pieces of white paper that might have been provided by a drug company. They look like those promotional paper pads that you get if you go to a trade show or if you work as a dentist or something.

9:05 Papers are falling off the table, okay?

9:06 They're separating them into ones, twos, threes, and fours. Is that code for Ron Paul? Doesn't it seem weird that someone with a RUDY sticker on her shirt is counting votes? They write the totals on notebook paper! This is so weird!!! Forget technology -- these people don't even utilize electricity. I love CSPAN. People who wear sweaters without t-shirts underneath are in charge of this election, and they're counting on their fingers.

I am shallow! I reported that already!

I have to get the children out of the tub and put them to bed. The networks are reporting that Huckabee will win the republican caucus, and they have Obama, Edwards, and Clinton in a statistical dead heat on the democrat side. I love elections.

Lookit the Pink! It's the Pinkiest!

I made this outfit for my friend's daughter Maisy for her birthday last year. Thus the cakes on the skirt. The jacket is not made from real poodle -- don't worry! No dogs were hurt in the construction of this outfit, except for my dog whenever he approached the project with his inevitable feet. Today I got these sweet pictures of Maisy modelling her pink outfit. Very gratifying. Very awesome!

Eight is Great

Benny is eight. This happened on December 27, 2007. He's now been eight for less than a week, and still, changes are in the works.

Example: Yesterday morning he asked me for yogurt and a banana for breakfast. When I questioned his abandonment of his favorite waffles, he told me, "I am really only interested in healthy food, now that I'm eight."

Super.

Another example: Yesterday he learned about analogies and was toodling away at his workbook page, answering Paris is to France as London is to _____ and other questions of that nature, and he looked over at me kindly and said, "I'm a much more cheerful student, since I turned eight."

Glad to hear it.

Final example: I have been trying to get Benny to relax his hand when he vibratos on his violin, so that he doesn't just clamp and quake, which produces a lot of tension and no vibrato. On Monday when we got the violin out, Benny told me he had had a dream which told him how to play the violin better. I asked to hear about the dream, but he said, "I can't tell you. It's just too beautiful." So he started to play and MY GOODNESS. Suddenly he can do vibrato. And played the first movement of the Vivaldi nearly perfectly, with every note in tune, and used about 50% more bow on every note, and in general just sounded fantastic. Yesterday was the same.

I wish I would have that dream!

A new year is here. I don't have an organized list of resolutions like I did last year. But I have a plan in mind. Oh yes I do.