Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Hancock Fabric Ad Special Quiz Challenge Spectacular!

Here is the ad:

Here is the quiz:
1. In what year is a suede trench fashion forward?
A. 2008
B. 1978
C. Never. Suede in "stiff camel" is never fashion forward.
2. How gay is that guy in the vest?*
A. Super-gay.
B. He's so gay, he's my boyfriend.
C. Clay Aiken gay.
3. But, how did you know he was gay?
A. The way the cuffs are.
B. The way the collar is.
C. The way the eyebrows are.
4. It's cool to be gay, though, right?
A. Yes, but it's not cool to wear a suede vest with lapels.
B. Yes, but it's kind of weird that no one in this ad has hands. Even the girl in the trench. Where are their hands?
C. Yes, but a gay man in a pirate outfit doesn't make me want to fire up my sewing machine.
5. What says fashion forward more than a belted jersey sweater vest?
A. Anything on earth.
B. A big ruffly chiffon collar.
C. Matching earrings and belt buckle.
6. Who is the blonde girl?
A. She's that girl from Gray's Anatomy.
B. She's my third grade teacher.
C. She's the spokesperson for people with huge hideous animal-patterned growths on their necks.
7. What in this ad makes you want to visit Hancock Fabrics?
A. The background color: Abused dog turd. The font: Garage sale.
B. The scandalous thought that suede could be stretched!
C. The fierce, undeniably magnetism of the female models.
8. Based on this ad, what are the trends for the season?
A. Things that are the color of pork rinds.
B. Stuff left tossed over the pants rack at Good Will by people who found something better.
C. Foreheads.
9. What's your favorite word in this ad?
A. Dull
B. Polyester
C. Solids
10. Do you think it's possible this ad entered my email through a time warp from 30 years ago?
A. Yes
B. No
C. Eat a cheeseburger.
*You know I loves me some gay people but, the gayness of this particular guy makes me question my assumptions about the target demographic of this ad! It's not just that he is gay, I mean what male model is not gay, right? And we love them for it. But, the outfit itself is, like, a poet shirt under a cowboy vest? Super-gay! Yes, you heard me, I am *questioning my assumptions about the target demographic of this ad*. Believe it.


  1. Yep, I'm officially cracked. Up. I am always getting these emails, and I just delete, delete, delete. But maybe I should really be using them as a source of entertainment!

  2. Why couldn't the 70's stay dead? And as for the guy, it was that little hair flip in front that clued me in to the "lightness of his loafers"...

  3. Anonymous4:46 PM

    I guess it's okay to bash people as long as you attach a disclaimer to it.

  4. Sarah, Ive never been entertained by one until now.

    Chili, I don't require that the 70s stay dead, but that the *worst parts* of the 70s not be exhumed, ya know? :)

    Anonymous, yes, that is correct.

  5. The guy is not gay. He is just poorly dressed. If he were gay he'd be making a credible fashion statement. I've yet to meet a poorly dressed gay man.

  6. c 4 creations, that is an excellent point. However, I do not think he dressed himself for this shoot.