Benny: Mother. I read my whole new Captain Underpants book in one night! IMAGINE IT! A whole Captain Underpants book in ONE NIGHT.
Me: I can hardly imagine it. What did you think of it?
Benny: There was exactly 25 chapters. And the most funny part is that the last three were extras And when it came to the 22nd chapter, it was name "The Twenty-Second Chapter." Then the next chapter was "The Chapter Before the Last One." And then on the next one it said, "To Make a Long Story Short" and every chapter that was like that, there are two words in it. So it's like that one is a bonus chapter. It was a bonus chapter, did you hear me?
Benny: OKAY, so why did I say it repeatedly?
Benny: And then the last chapter was called "The Chapter After the Chapter Before the Last Chapter." So, the shortest way to write that down was "The Last Chapter." In fact, that's only three words. The. Last. Chapter. That would be the shortest way to write it down.
Me: What did you think of the characters and plot?
Benny: It was like, what's that word, demanding. Professor Poopypants (everybody laughed at his name, I'm sure you will, I do a lot) changed his name to Mr. TinkleSumpinSumpin. I know the first part was Tinkle, but I don't know the rest. There's also the goosey-girl, the shrinky pig, which you might think makes things smaller. Like if you had a giant elephant and you were trying to clean it, you could use the shrinky pig and then it will turn into this big. Right here. This big. Then you could pour a whole bucket of soapy water on it, then a whole bucket of clean water, and then you'd be done. That's how the shrinky pig works. Well, not the bucket thing. But the elephant thing.
Me: But what did you think of the plot.
Benny: I'm just explaining the inventions that were in the plot. The way the goosey girl works is that if you saw a speck and you were wondering what it was, you would use the goosey girl and it would grow very big, like this big, and if it was a FLY, then you'd have to roll it out of the house. That's how the goosey girl works, not the fly thing, but the making the speck bigger thing.
Benny: HEY MOTHER. Do you know what his middle name was? PEE PEE. Professor Pee pee Poopypants. Okay, on with the plot.
Me: You don't have to tell me the plot. Just tell me what you think of the plot.
Benny: First I'll tell you that if you haven't read this book, then it will really be funny. Mr. Crup, the principal, had his name turned into Lumpy Sumpin Biscuits. Put sumpin in italics. I can't remember the other word but if anyone comments on that "Sumpin" just say "Sumpin" like I don't know.
(Benny has become aware that I am typing the conversation, and argues that the title be changed from C.U. Review to C.U. Conversation.)
Me: Can you tell me what you thought about the story?
Benny: This was the second one I saw Captain Underpants with his superpowers. They're so amazing! He can even fly! He was so big, and he attacked really well. The professor, I thought his two names were very funny.
Me: How does it compare to other books in the series?
Benny: Compared to other books, I liked the Flip-O-Rama a lot. Flip-O-Rama is Dav Pilkey's invention. He invented Flip-O-Rama.